10. Hey! There's a gift.
9. Well, well, well...
8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
7. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
6. Wow, I hope this never catches fire!
5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
4. I love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
2. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
1. I really don't deserve this.
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