‘Follow me, please.’
‘Give me a moment, Sir. I’m waiting for someone.’
‘I insist. We're in the way.’
‘But I have a reservation.’
‘I can assure you we don’t do reservations.’
‘You must be mistaken. Can I speak to your supervisor?’
‘I’m sorry, but he’s otherwise engaged.’
‘No worries. As I told you, I can wait. My wife must be about to get here.’
‘I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you.’
‘What do you mean? She's never stood me up in thirty years.'
‘Thirty years? That must be sooo boring. Anyway, she’ll have to get used to doing things without you from now on.’
‘What the heck are you talking about? I was told this restaurant was one of the best in the East Side, but the service… well, I don’t want to swear, but you get my drift.’
‘Do you hear that?’
‘Hear what?’
‘The siren. It’s an ambulance.’
‘This is New York. Silence is a luxury here.’
‘It’s coming for you.’
‘Who?’
‘The ambulance.’
‘Are you pulling my leg? I’m perfectly okay, waiting for my wife to buy her a fancy birthday dinner that’ll probably cost half my salary. And trying to keep my temper because you, Mr. Waiter, refuse to treat me with the respect I deserve.’
‘I don’t work here.’
‘Why didn’t you say so before?’
‘You didn’t ask.’
‘Who are you then?’
‘Death.’
‘Whaaaaat? I’m only fifty-six.’
‘Don’t panic. It will be painless. Massive heart-attack. And don’t worry about your wife. She’s having an affair with your brother. I don’t think she’ll miss you that much.’
